You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
well you can't waste a boner
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
