I think my vagina is haunted
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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