your room smells of hookers.
And success
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I deserve this hangover.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
