I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
