Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it penis luge time yet?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
