Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
