Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
