I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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