She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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