Are we in a gay sports bar?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
