I accidentally had phone sex last night
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm like, not good at living.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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