guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In America we eat man semen.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I need a burrito and a hug.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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