brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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