I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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