I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
