I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
