Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
