Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
