Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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