May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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