this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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