I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
