they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
