Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
