I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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