yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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