Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
