he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
