Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
