i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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