did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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