He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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