My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
