Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
cat food counts as protein by the way
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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