i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
