Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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