Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
