is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
