It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
