I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
