And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
