you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
