come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
