You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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