I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
