its not stalking. its research.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
