Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
