i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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