erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
