I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
a search helicopter?!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I stole a fireplace last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
