Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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