Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
